“These are the days to remember…”
So at the risk of being corny, I am reflecting on that Natalie Merchant song. I heard it today (I get to listen to my music when it’s just me and Squishy–the baby–in the Storm Trooper, actually the “Bloated Storm Trooper”, aka my FUGLY, old, white minivan which I hate in all ways except for its practicality).
So that song was released in 1992. I really don’t care to remember that year, but man those were some kind of days. Dark days, for me… But, remembering them is important, because they show me how to stay out of that dark. You know that quote, something like “we can’t know the light without the dark”. So I guess I’ll remember the days (though foggy), especially when I don’t want to, which is usually.
“These days you might feel a shaft of light across your face.” And I did then, in my dark-before-the-dawn time, in a very profound spiritual way, and I have followed that light ever since (a whole other story).
I heard the song today, and now these are the days. Natalie was brilliant, writing that song, because it is completely timeless. We have these days here, and those days over there..always the days.
How are these the days to remember? I can barely remember yesterday. These days are ONE continuous day, with very little sleep, occasional moments of clarity, lots of treading water, doing my varying best. I have a hard time remembering what day of the week it is sometimes. Maybe some moments will survive, but really it’s the ONE CONTINUOUS DAY quality of these days that I’ll remember. These days are ONE DAY full of playgrounds, tiny shoes, bruises, toddler fears, food allergies, sleepless nights, rallying self-confidence and forcing smiles on those tiiiirrrred dragging, bag-eyed days. I hope I remember these days that LateforDinner lets me sleep in, the days family and friends come over and the kids go crazy and we enjoy some real time together, the laughter, the days my boys get along and the flash forward moments I see in their growing relationship as brothers. I also hope I remember how hard it is, so I can appreciate those distant future years with a quiet house.
All of this ONE CONTINUOUS DAY is actually ONE CONTINUOUS SHAFT OF LIGHT across our faces. The light is not always warm. Sometimes in the darkest days that light is only a cold glimmer, but it is always there through the fog. Some days that light is so hot and bright it brings undeniable joy. And so, I remember all of the days as ONE to remember, because these are always the days.
“You know it’s true that you are blessed and lucky,” Because Boys.