Such is life

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I made a new friend in one of my classes.  She’s around my age, and we have some things in common, so I did the “hey, let’s connect on social media” thing.  We walked out of class, talked for a few minutes, and then got to talking about having coffee after class one day.  But I had to get going because Latefordinner had to take Tuna to one of his things.  I had to hurry home to be home with the littles. She asked me if I had ever been to this place in town, or this other place…she had to go shopping there, and go eat over there.  Shopping?  At a little place?  You mean somewhere other than Costco or Target?  Wouldn’t that other place be Amazon?

You see, this new friend who is around my age and also in college, doesn’t have children.

She said, “You’ve never been there?!”

“No, I have no life”, I said with a smile.

We laughed, and I found myself floating away from this new friend in front of me. We do actually have things in common–we feed off of each other in class discussions, and we both lean toward holistic practices, plus there’s the age thing.  Age…it really is nothing.  Her laughter was coming from a very different place of understanding, in which someone my age actually did have a “life”, and was not a mother.  I wonder why she laughed, actually.  Probably just because I did. Politeness.  She’s nice, so I’m sure she didn’t actually think anything of it.  But of course I did.

We separated, and I had that unsettled feeling, hearing the echo of myself saying “I have no life” in my head.

It was such a quick realization this time.  No pondering the depths, just hearing the echo come back saying:

“You have SUCH A LIFE!”Echo-Canyon-2.jpg

And it’s true!  My life is FULL, and RICH.  Not with the freedom to shop in little shops, or eat out all the time; but with my full, rich family.  My family gives me SUCH a life.  My life is enriching and busy and chaotic and messy and scary and exciting and boring and breathtaking.  My life is a roller coaster of exhilaration and fear and love and boys and marriage and school.  My life is PACKED with NEWNESS every day, jammed with sameness, overflowing with opportunities to grow and thrive and teach and learn.  Every. Single. Day. of my life is SUCH A DAY. 

Psh, no life.  Why did I even say that? What a thing to say. I don’t have time to have no life. That is the stuff of midlife crises. There is no crisis when every age is SUCH an age. Every life we live within this one is exactly what it should be.  There is no need to call motherhood  and marriage and college less than life, because it is exactly what completes me now. Accepting SUCH a life is crisis-prevention.

Try it: Tell yourself you have no life.  If you don’t hear that echo back, YELL IT BACK. Every one of you has SUCH a life.

No life my ass.

Free Box o’ Socks. You Match.

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socks

Hi, how ya doin?  Good, good.   I haven’t been here in a while, because you know, Busy.  I think the Universe read my last post and saw it as a request for an Inner Peace Challenge, and therefore proceeded to give me OCTOBER, 2014.

October began with…wait for it…THE DEATH OF THE BLOATED STORM TROOPER!  Yes, I successfully willed its death.  No, I did not get in an accident, it just DIED one day after I coasted home.  While I celebrated its demise, we simultaneously scrambled to figure out a new vehicle.

Next, Latefordinner suffered some extremely painful health issues.  The whole family felt it, and I was in survival mode for two weeks.

Then one October morning, on Latefordinner’s first day back to work, I awoke to the sound of four screeching repetitive beeps coming from the carbon monoxide detector.  I whisked the Squishy wearing only a shirt and diaper out of bed and yelled for the other two to get out of the house.  They ran up the stairs, one in a t-shirt and underwear and both barefoot, I rushed them out of the house and into the rental car.  Luckily I keep blankets in the car. I called 911, waited for the fire department, and talked Tuna down from panic.  The fire truck came, craned some neighbors’ necks, and they confirmed that the levels were dangerous.  We were not to turn the furnace back on. This was all before coffee.

So what does all of this have to do with socks, you ask? Well, one of the reasons I started this blegh was to do something I’ve never done, something big and scary that required bravery (my theme right now). Your thoughts and intentions create your reality in ways you often cannot predict. The van broke down, the furnace broke down, my partner broke down, and my powerful self STAYED UP.  With bravery I accepted help from others, felt the humility of three financial setbacks and a new modest plan, kept my kids going, and felt more gratitude for our amazing family and friends than I ever have before.  With bravery and faith in the power of intention I faced new and unexpected challenges.

Ok yes, socks…

I absolutely hate folding socks. (I know, first world problems, but here it is anyway.)  Every morning, I find myself sifting through clean laundry looking for just. two. more. matching. socks.  For at least two years now I have had the intention to streamline with only one kind of sock for the boys.  At the store yesterday I passed the socks, stared at the package of 20 identical white socks, and realized that it was time.  Why, after doing big brave things, have I waited so long?  Was I waiting for more money? More time to get rid of the old ones?  How could I justify letting go of perfectly good socks because I hated folding them?

The answer is:  Because it will make my life better, and why not do it if I can?  The Universe took care of my big problems in October (and Latefordinner’s as well, because his health problems paved the way for a healthier him).  There is only NOW.  Now is the time to let go of the old vans, furnaces, money habits, and mismatched socks.  Make life easier and bravely buy 20 identical socks right NOW.

I gathered every last sock I could find, threw them in a box, and posted it on Freecycle.  “Box o’ Socks.  All are clean, none are matched.  I went a little crazy and bought all new identical socks, so I won’t have to match another pair of socks ever again.”   Go crazy today and let go of your “socks”.  It will make room for even better socks.

It felt GREAT to grab four white socks and throw them at the boys this morning!!

(I’d like to reiterate the immense gratitude and abundance that has filled my heart this month.  My old van is now someone else’s vehicle.  My old furnace was replaced with a brand new one. My old socks are now someone else’s new socks.  Our family stepped in and helped us when we truly needed it.  I am humbled and overflowing with gratitude.  I also can’t exclude the strength of Latefordinner last month as well. My family is loved and supported.)

SOCKS  

(I just had to say socks one more time.)