Free Box o’ Socks. You Match.

socks

Hi, how ya doin?  Good, good.   I haven’t been here in a while, because you know, Busy.  I think the Universe read my last post and saw it as a request for an Inner Peace Challenge, and therefore proceeded to give me OCTOBER, 2014.

October began with…wait for it…THE DEATH OF THE BLOATED STORM TROOPER!  Yes, I successfully willed its death.  No, I did not get in an accident, it just DIED one day after I coasted home.  While I celebrated its demise, we simultaneously scrambled to figure out a new vehicle.

Next, Latefordinner suffered some extremely painful health issues.  The whole family felt it, and I was in survival mode for two weeks.

Then one October morning, on Latefordinner’s first day back to work, I awoke to the sound of four screeching repetitive beeps coming from the carbon monoxide detector.  I whisked the Squishy wearing only a shirt and diaper out of bed and yelled for the other two to get out of the house.  They ran up the stairs, one in a t-shirt and underwear and both barefoot, I rushed them out of the house and into the rental car.  Luckily I keep blankets in the car. I called 911, waited for the fire department, and talked Tuna down from panic.  The fire truck came, craned some neighbors’ necks, and they confirmed that the levels were dangerous.  We were not to turn the furnace back on. This was all before coffee.

So what does all of this have to do with socks, you ask? Well, one of the reasons I started this blegh was to do something I’ve never done, something big and scary that required bravery (my theme right now). Your thoughts and intentions create your reality in ways you often cannot predict. The van broke down, the furnace broke down, my partner broke down, and my powerful self STAYED UP.  With bravery I accepted help from others, felt the humility of three financial setbacks and a new modest plan, kept my kids going, and felt more gratitude for our amazing family and friends than I ever have before.  With bravery and faith in the power of intention I faced new and unexpected challenges.

Ok yes, socks…

I absolutely hate folding socks. (I know, first world problems, but here it is anyway.)  Every morning, I find myself sifting through clean laundry looking for just. two. more. matching. socks.  For at least two years now I have had the intention to streamline with only one kind of sock for the boys.  At the store yesterday I passed the socks, stared at the package of 20 identical white socks, and realized that it was time.  Why, after doing big brave things, have I waited so long?  Was I waiting for more money? More time to get rid of the old ones?  How could I justify letting go of perfectly good socks because I hated folding them?

The answer is:  Because it will make my life better, and why not do it if I can?  The Universe took care of my big problems in October (and Latefordinner’s as well, because his health problems paved the way for a healthier him).  There is only NOW.  Now is the time to let go of the old vans, furnaces, money habits, and mismatched socks.  Make life easier and bravely buy 20 identical socks right NOW.

I gathered every last sock I could find, threw them in a box, and posted it on Freecycle.  “Box o’ Socks.  All are clean, none are matched.  I went a little crazy and bought all new identical socks, so I won’t have to match another pair of socks ever again.”   Go crazy today and let go of your “socks”.  It will make room for even better socks.

It felt GREAT to grab four white socks and throw them at the boys this morning!!

(I’d like to reiterate the immense gratitude and abundance that has filled my heart this month.  My old van is now someone else’s vehicle.  My old furnace was replaced with a brand new one. My old socks are now someone else’s new socks.  Our family stepped in and helped us when we truly needed it.  I am humbled and overflowing with gratitude.  I also can’t exclude the strength of Latefordinner last month as well. My family is loved and supported.)

SOCKS  

(I just had to say socks one more time.)

Floor food

If we have talked at all in the last eight years, you have probably heard me complain about the mess in my house.  The dirty, messy, out of control, disorganized mess that is my house.  I really struggle with this.  Like, eye twitching hair pulling struggle.  I’m like Master Shifu in Kung Fu Panda, meditating, saying “inner peace…in-in-innnner peeace…” when really there is turmoil inside.  That poor little panda guy was so uptight! Until, big fat sloppy messy unrefined Po came along and shook him up, shook his world, freaked him out, and ultimately brought him that inner peace.  Irony.

Image

(99% positive I can reference kids movies here, right?  If you haven’t seen Kung Fu Panda, go check it out, it’s awesome.)

So is there a lesson here?  I don’t know, because really I was so very peaceful when I had a Feng Shui home with everything pretty and organized and  I had time to meditate and do my yoga.  This was so long ago, and I’m still trying to get with this new chaos!  Because of this, I think this whole thing goes a lot deeper than the things around me.  I stress so much about the dishes that don’t ever get done because that fucking maid never shows up, the laundry-that-is-the-floor, the PEE…the PEE everywhere!  Seriously, Because Boys…  I have seen them stand there and yell over their shoulder while peeing, and you know, the head turns, the body turns, the PEE turns….I get it, there’s a hose attached to their body, WEEE!   So I stress, because I just can’t keep up. I mean, I could, but then when would I do anything else?   So this is me sitting in forced meditation, trying to will inner peace, fighting the truth. The eye twitches thinking about all of the work…

Here’s the truth, I never have liked cleaning.  I was able to maintain when I was alone, and even when it was just me and *Late for Dinner.  But when it’s me vs. four males, I am more than outnumbered.  Period.  I would have to become psycho-crazy-clean-rules-enforcer to keep things nice, and I just can’t be happy that way.  How can I enforce those rules if I never follow them anyway?  I don’t even like rules.  I never have liked rules, so I keep the house rules pretty durn basic.  Like, you have to at least have on underwear to sit on the couch; and if you drop food on the floor, pick it up and eat it.  Because we don’t waste food.  This is unless you are a toddler, in which case you may throw all of your food on the floor as long as you return to pick it up and finish it two hours later.  I am sure he plans this.  He knows I won’t sweep it up before then.

Having very basic rules decreases eye twitches, because this is really just about getting up from that meditation cushion, and throwing Po some cookies. I have tasted big gulps of that inner peace while letting my boys play outside barefoot, sometimes in underwear, filthy, and *gasp* without sunscreen for a whole hour!   I’ve seen flashes of that inner peace when making the decision to keep a trampoline in my dining room through the recent WINTER FROM HELL, because even though we could barely move around the room, my boys could jump their crazies out during the darkest coldest days. Mismatched socks, untucked sheets, no more bathroom counter…  I watch the baby throw his food on the floor, and take a breath.  I will not try to force peace, peace just happens at the center of the storm.  One of Osho’s Zen Tarot cards says “Stand in the center of the cyclone and relax, and know that this too will pass.”  Or if you’re Shifu, get up and train your Po.

And here comes one of those little cyclones to pick up his floor food, two hours after breakfast. And that my friend, is some kind of inner peace.

 

* Husband and I were talking about what I should call him here, and he said “Just don’t call me late for dinner. “